This came into work today. I shortlisted it and displayed it on my cafe counter.

The back said something like “He is into BDSM. (Batman, Dragons, Star Wars, and Magic the Gathering).”

The first paragraph starts like this:

“I growl with frustration at my reflection in the mirror. My hair is fifty shades of messed up. Why is it so kinky and out of control? I need to stop sleeping with it wet. As I brush my long brown hair, the girl in the mirror brown eyes too big for her, stares back at me. Wait… my eyes are blue! It dawns on me that I haven’t been looking in the mirror—I’ve been staring at a poster of Kirsten Stewart for the past five minutes. My own hair is fine.”

(Source: m3lodigression, via batched)

justamus:

balalaikaboss:

ejacutastic:

I DIDN’T LEARN ABOUT THIS IN DRIVING SCHOOL

Stop says the red light, go says the green

Wait says the yellow light, twinkling in between. 

KNEEL, SAYS THE DEMON LIGHT
WITH ITS EYE OF COAL 
SAURON KNOWS YOUR LICENSE PLATE 
AND STARES INTO YOUR SOUL

Clearly it says you can proceed if you are hellspawn.

(via batched)

(Source: burnwiththewolves, via joannaestep)

(Source: foreveraroughdraft, via sexyandhotgayboys)

harry potter and the crazy ass rock

harry potter and the hogwarts basement

harry potter and the guy who went to jail

harry potter and the big ass fire cup

harry potter and the secret club no one can know about

harry potter and the vandalized textbook

harry potter and the triangle circle stick

(Source: believed, via batched)